You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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