everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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