Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
