just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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