wrigley field is MILF paradise
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
