forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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