He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
you made out with another girl for some wings
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
