How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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