quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
