do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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