No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
