I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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