All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
