I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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