why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
