WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
