I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
