i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We were destined to go to rehab together
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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