Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
