Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
