my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
