New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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