She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
