I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she peed on how many people?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He did a backflip because drugs
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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