Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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