508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
