i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
