Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
