this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
