would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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