So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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