Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
