gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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