barbara walters just said penis...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
