Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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