u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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