so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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