awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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