We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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