In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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