help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
