Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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