At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
