Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize