I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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