Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
