that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize