I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
