i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
