That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
