Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
