No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
When are your genitals available?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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