I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
