so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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