she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
