I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Even my vagina gasped.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
