It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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